Inhibitions
I like sex, who doesn’t? And, as much as I would like to admit that I’m okay with it all, I’m not. My inhibitions are, I would imagine, fairly typical – not wanting to be naked in front of just anyone, worrying about how I look in certain positions, etc.
I have another inhibition though, one that might surprise you. I have this fear of masturbating while my BF (or anyone) watches. And I just don’t get it! One of my favorite fantasies while pleasuring myself is that someone is watching me. So why would I not want the real thing?
My BF has made it abundantly clear that he wants to watch me and that he finds me sexy, blah blah blah. Just the thought of getting frisky with myself while he watches causes me to get butterflies in my tummy and no, they aren’t the good kind. So, unbeknowst to him, I have done a little bit of experimenting on my own.
There have been a few times when I’m up late and he’s asleep. I just grab my quietest toy and go about getting it done quickly. Why would I do this? To get used to having an orgasm with him near me. Oh yes, you read that correctly – I’ve never come with him. Now, before you get all righteous, it’s ok. I’m not orgasm focused in my sex life – as long as things feel good and I enjoy it, I’m not going to stress out about some muscle contractions. My thinking is that if I can get used to getting off with him near me, it might be easier to have one while he watches (or while we have sex).
Where do inhibitions come from? I dunno. I’m not insecure about my body (not in any way beyond the usual “ugg, my belly isn’t flat”). For me, I think that my inhibition is born of my desire to remain in control at all times and to never appear vulnerable to a partner. What is more free of control and vulnerable than an orgasm?
Having said that, lol, I do want to get over whatever it is that is preventing me from doing this. The thought turns me on, its just the follow through that I’m not so sure about.
Updates as the occur.
I’ve been engaged for 3 years and didn’t know it!
At least, according to this I am engaged. In case you are link-phobic, let me sum it up: Once you make the commitment to have sex without a condom, you are effectively telling your partner that you love and trust them, that you are committed to them. Ergo, bareback sex is the new engagement.
Does that mean that I have to trade in my non-existant, dream Tiffany engagement ring for a cock ring? Maybe a diamond encrusted cock ring wouldn’t be so bad.
Should they or shouldn’t they?
A few days ago, I wrote this post questioning Miley Cyrus and if it is appropriate for her to be taking provacative pics at her age. In it, I stated the following -
Young adults shouldn’t even be taking pics like that. Or maybe they should – maybe taking sexy pics is part of exploring one’s burgeoning sexuality these days, I dunno.
I’ve been thinking about that ever since. I do feel bad for picking on her, but I’m really just using her as an example of what I see as a larger phenomenon.
What is normal sexual exploration these days?
HIV vaccine trial cancelled
The National Institutes of Health on Thursday canceled a US human trial of a human immunodeficiency virus vaccine doubting its effectiveness and saying it might increase infection.
From what I understand, this newest vaccine was very similar to one tested last year by Merck that really failed – it didn’t lower the risk of infection, didn’t decrease the viral load and may in fact have lead to increased susceptibility to infection. They are doing a small scale study first and if it is promising, they will be moving on to the planned large study.
Here is some good news -
For the first time since AIDS was identified in the mid-1980, the United Nations said last month the numbers of AIDS deaths and infections have started to decline. However, the number of people infected with HIV is still high. An estimated 32.2 million people worldwide were living with HIV in December 2007 compared with the figure of 39.5 million the two institutions released the year before. Also, the annual rate of new infections seemed to have declined over the last decade. There were 2.5 million new infections in 2007 down from 3.2 million infections in 1998.
Definitely encouraging, but obviously more needs to be done.
Safe sex, everyone. ALL THE TIME.
What the hell happened in Alabama?
A woman was charged with manslaughter in the death of her fetus after medical personnel determined that its umbilical cord was intentionally severed while still in the womb, authorities said Tuesday.
Jennifer Darlene Johnson, 30, of Florence was being held on $50,000 bond. A court official said she didn’t have a lawyer.
Johnson was between 26 weeks and 30 weeks pregnant when she was taken to Helen Keller Hospital in Sheffield on Friday night, saying her water had broken and she was experiencing pain and bleeding, according to police investigator Capt. Ron Tyler.
The fetus was dead when it was delivered at the hospital, Tyler said, adding hospital personnel determined the umbilical cord had been separated while the fetus was still in Johnson’s uterus.
“Investigators believe the evidence demonstrates that the death of the infant is directly related to the intentional severing of the umbilical cord,” Tyler said.
What? Just what the hell happened here?
Why, Miley, why?
“I’d love to do a younger, cleaner version of Sex and the City,” she told US magazine TV Guide.
Ok, first of all, I don’t like Miley Cyrus. It’s nothing personal towards her, I just have issues with children being insanely famous. Secondly, how the hell does she know anything about Sex and the City? Granted, the show wasn’t porn, but it wasn’t your afterschool special either. I don’t know what about that show would be appropriate for anyone at all under the age of 18 or so. And of course, her quote begs the question, how can one do a “cleaner” version of SATC? By its very nature, by its very title, there is nothing clean about it.
Ruminations on cheating
I’ve been reading these great posts by Greta Christina. She brings up many valid points and for the most part, I do agree with her. However, perhaps I’m tainted by my own experiences, things aren’t always as simple as breaking a “contract.” There are many variations of the “contract”, depending on the particular circumstances. This begs the question, ‘What is cheating?’ For me, it is more an issue of what leads to cheating and what constitutes cheating. Let me share one of my experiences. Read the rest of this entry »
Virgin blog bitches!
Show this blog some love – pop her cherry and give her some comments!
