Should they or shouldn’t they?
A few days ago, I wrote this post questioning Miley Cyrus and if it is appropriate for her to be taking provacative pics at her age. In it, I stated the following -
Young adults shouldn’t even be taking pics like that. Or maybe they should – maybe taking sexy pics is part of exploring one’s burgeoning sexuality these days, I dunno.
I’ve been thinking about that ever since. I do feel bad for picking on her, but I’m really just using her as an example of what I see as a larger phenomenon.
What is normal sexual exploration these days?
When I was a teenager, the internet was just beginning to blow up and there weren’t such things as cell phones with cameras. My early experiences with sex were very basic – tentative hand holding, shy kisses by the lockers, making out in the back of the school bus, et cetera. If you were going to have sex, you did it while your parents were out in the backyard or when they ran to the grocery store and you had that precious 10 minutes to yourselves – its not as if a teenage boy needs that much time to finish the job. At that age, it never would have occurred to me to send sexy pics of myself to my bf.
In my parent’s generation, things were similar – at least that’s what I have gleaned from sneaking glimpses at my mother’s diary. Factor in all the things I mentioned above, mix with a dash of herb and throw in a sweet 70′s ride and you had teenage sex exploration in the 1970′s.
So, what is going on now? With our media and culture being so focused on sexuality, I have to wonder if it is almost hypersexualizing some people? Perhaps growing up in this age of constant accessibility (i.e. email, cell phones) makes everything, including sex, more accessible to everyone. What if taking provactative pics of yourself at a tender age and sending them to your crush du jour is the norm now?
Getting beyond the possible squick factor, let’s think about this a bit. Let’s assume that exploring your sexuality in a not-so-private way is just the way its done these days. Should we be concerned about photos in which a top is revealingly pulled to the side, exposing a bra strap? Or should we become concerned when it is a full-on semi-nude lingerie shot? Where is that line? And, how do we raise our children (boys and girls) to respect something that they see exposed each and every day?
As a parent, my personal line would be anything that is not normally visible. In the example above, a bra strap being exposed would probably be okay with me. But, taking a pic in just a bra and panties would not be ok. Where does the experiementation stop and potential exploitation begin? If photos such as these were to fall into the wrong hands, would that cause problems for the person down the line?
I worry that girls (and boys, to a lesser extent) will be so used to using their bodies to get attention that they won’t be able to interact on any level other than sexually. I know, girls and women have been using their bodies and sex appeal to get ahead for years upon years – but did it start when they were 14 or 15? And I’m not even going to mention the potential body image issues that I can see cropping up.
I have no real answers to any of the questions I have posed. IMO, the most important thing we can do is teach our children (and our selves) to respect our bodies in every situation. Teach that there is nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality, but emphasize that it must be done in a safe manner.
